Thomasville Summer 2010

For updates on my Summer in Thomasville #2,
please read lessthanthreeofgod.wordpress.com

<3

It's a City and Colour kind of day :)

Ahhh! Blog!

Oh hi!
Miss me?
Not really?.. Well, I don't blame you. I've never really been a blogger. I do the whole facebook- quick few words of an update, kay done! type blogging.
But something like this is important from time to time to allow thoughts to flow and take concrete forms.
As an update, I'll be leaving Sunday to do Orientation for Thomasville and will be working there again this summer right after.
My biggest fear is that I'll go in expecting this summer to bring as many gifts as last summer did.
What I'm hoping will happen is the relationships I started to form last summer will regain themselves quickly this summer and allow even more of God to flow through me and into these kids, that the new kids I don't know will see how much the old ones trust me and be less wary because of this so that I won't have to start over from Square 1. I'm also hopeful that the mistakes I made last summer can be avoided this summer because I'm more aware of the system.
But I'm too worried about MY will for this summer when it should be HIS will I'm focused on. If things don't go exactly as I have planned, will I be disappointed? I think I might. And that's really not fair.
As always, prayer is requested and updates will hopefully be made.
After Thomasville, I'll be doing a round of International Missions that I'm incredibly excited about. Traveling has always been a passion but I rarely have the funds to go through with these ideas I have. Fortunately, most of the cost for my trips will be covered (how blessed I truly am) because I'm going in the name of Jesus to do minor missions in these places. Last on the long list of traveling places is Sao Paulo, Brazil and I'll be staying some extra days there to get in the tourism that I'll miss out on in these other locations.
Busy, busy, busy.
I hope to lose 2 sizes before going back to Wingate. Hold me to it.
Music- The Avett Brothers- The Ballad of Love and Hate
Crayola Doesn't Make A Color For Your Eyes-
Bon Iver (We have a love/hate relationship)
Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
John Mayer Concert- July 16th!!! I'm 7 rows from the stage!!! Train opening.
Minor rant- JM has 3 bands opening for him, alternating tour days. These are The Avett Brothers, Train, and Owl City. I ADORE Avett Brothers and Owl City. I only know a handful of songs by Train, none of which I'm incredibly stoked over hearing live (sorry all you Soul Sister fans, I really don't care too much for that song... it's ok I guess) It'll be ok, though. JM will exceed my expectations as always.

Forever and Ever, Etc.

I created this blog initially (as the theme might represent) to allow myself to open up and love more.
What many people do not realize about my lifestyle is I have the absolute hardest time loving.
I'm not going to post my entire life story on the internet for anyone to see, but long story short, my heart has been shredded and I'm working and aching and yearning so hard try to put the pieces back into some concrete form.
Last night at Breathe, Oliver spoke about 1 John 4. How God's love is entered into us and because we have that love inside us we OUGHT to love others. Ought doesnt mean we should try to love like God loves us. That's impossible. Ought to love others is just like a fish ought to swim or a peach ought to be sweet. We ought to love others.

I am so greedy.

I have this love of God inside of me. Yearning and aching to be released. And I'm so needy that I'm keeping it all for myself without realizing it would do more good to pass through me and wash me clean to be conducted into other people.
And then I reach the argument- How much is too much? Should I just open my heart and allow it to be crushed again? Is it a trial and error prossess? And then you've got the opposite end of the spectrum- If I spread this love, who do I spread it to? Because if I love certain people the way I'd like to.... I'd kinda feel like a creeper.

This week, God was so very good to me. Through the Orphan Foundation, my Housing Deposit was paid for. While I was in the business office working with that, I had to take out a loan to finish off my final tuition, but the lady gave me a job opportunity and I'm now a writing tutor. I've got a dinner planned on Friday with a group of very lovely ladies. And hopefully I've got plans on Saturday to hang out with a friend who I yearn to know more about.
You know the friend I'm talking about... the one that is just so amazing and you two have so much in common that you just want to instantly be their best friend, but life is slowing you down.

Musical note: Nick Jonas and the Administration album came out this week. The song Vesper's Goodbye makes me sob.

Thank You Audrey Hepburn

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk along.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

Oh! To Rest These Weary Extremeties

This is a blog simply for the sake of blogging in December.
Do you ever sit back and wonder if your life is equal to that of The Truman Show or The Sims games?
Whoever is running my show is rather masochistic.


I've started a project.
It initially was supposed to be polaroid pictures, but film for the camera is so expensive.
So, now it has become a video.
All revolving around the statement "Before I Die I Want To..."
I'm rather excited for the outcome.

Do you ever reach a point in your life where you are completely satisfied with... anything?
Or is life a constant struggle towards some unknown and probably unnecessary goal?

My new years resolution- I want to be able to play The Underwood Typewriter by Fionn Regan.
I also want to say the words "I love you" more often.
Not for the sake of simply saying them, but because I truly mean them and it's high time these emotions are expressed.

Happiness is:

Remembering simple pleasures.

I posted a blog at the end of last semeste talking about bubbles.
How happy they can make a person, and how much they represent in life.

With exams and the semester's end coming up soon, stress is contagious.

How about a good movie, a cup of hot tea or chocolate, a warm blanket, and God's love?
The perfect end to the perfect beginning.

On a musical note:
Fionn Regan and A Love Like Pi.
Do it.

I am...

absolutely smitten.
And I hate it.

I think that we should know from birth who THE ONE is and just spend our life looking for THE ONE. No detours.
Or there should be no such thing as deceipt, or lies, or confusion, or any of that mess..
Not when it comes to love.
That's the worst kind of blasphemy.

Some Quotes That Sum Up Life Right Now

» Do you have a band aid? Cause I hurt my knee when I fell for you.
*You have been taught that there is something wrong with you and that you are imperfect but there isn't and you're not.
» And just because she comes off strong, doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying. And even though she acts like nothing's wrong, maybe just maybe, she's good at lying.
» I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.
» The girl who seemed unbreakable...broke.The girl who seemed so strong...crumbled.The girl who always laughed it off...cried.The girl who never stopped trying...finally gave up.
» We laugh too hard. We're way too loud, and we make complete fools of ourselves. If you have friends like mine, raise your glasses! If you don't, raise your standards.
» If I'm ever murdered I hope it's interesting enough to be the inspiration for an episode of Law & Order.
» I purposely create awkward moments because I think it's funny.
» Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
» Be with someone who knows what the have when they have you.
» When you and I met, the angel's whispered "perfect."
» Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe
» I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh. But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
» Don't make someone a priority when they're only making you an option.
» I see the way you look at her, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
» Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
» A million words would not bring you back; I know because I've tried. Neither would a million tears; I know because I've cried
.» The worst thing about being lied to...is knowing you are worth the truth.
» It's just so difficult being me instead of we.
» What's better? A lie that draws a smile, or a truth that draws a tear?
» I want to be his favorite hello, and his hardest goodbye.
» Should I smile because you're my friend? Or cry because that's all we'll ever be?
» I miss you being there. But the thing that hurts the most...you just don't care.
» I spend all my time thinking about things that will never happen. And dressing up for the boy that will never care.
» I'd never make a promise I didn't intend to keep. So when I say forever, forever is what I mean.
» Looking for perfection? Go buy a barbie doll.
» Go for the happy endings, because life doesn't have any sequels.

Oops

I completely forgot about blogspot.
I've been so uber busy in Thomasville, there has neither been the time or occasion to update.
I'll be gone from here in 2 weeks, though (sob), so be expecting a rather long and intriguing update at that time.
Ps- how do you spell intriguing?

Obssessed

Okay, so on top of the Jonas Brothers and Twilight, I think I may have another obssession.
This one isn't so bad, and is rather healthy.
It's for Jimmy Robbins.
I've been a fan of him for like 4-5 years now.
His song Everything To You has been my ringtone for ages.
He even called me once... it was embarrasing. I was like "Ummm... I... ummm.. I love you?"
Ick.
If you've not heard of him- www.myspace.com/jimmyrobbins
and if you like him, go to jimmyrobbins.fancorps.com
He's recently signed and deserves respect, and I think this website will give it to him.
Plus it's pretty sweet about helping him get the word out.
Whew. It was nice to get that off of my chest.
Let me know what you think of him, yeah?